


a catalog of non-definite acts

by QuietLittleVoices



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: College era, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-29 22:24:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15738528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietLittleVoices/pseuds/QuietLittleVoices
Summary: Sammy knew that there was no point in wasting his time pining when he wasn’t going to do anything about it. ‘Hey, I think I’ve been in love with you for the entire five years we’ve known each other’ isn’t an easy conversation starter, so he wasn’t planning on ever saying it.





	a catalog of non-definite acts

Sammy knew that there was no point in wasting his time pining when he wasn’t going to do anything about it. ‘ _ Hey, I think I’ve been in love with you for the entire five years we’ve known each other _ ’ isn’t an easy conversation starter, so he wasn’t planning on ever saying it.

Except sometimes, when Jack would find wherever Sammy made a space for himself in their apartment and throw himself onto the nearest comfortable surface. “What do you think we’ll do after this?”

Sammy looked at the time. “Get dinner, probably.”

Jack made a frustrated noise. “That’s not what I meant.”

Sammy shut his laptop and put it on the coffee table. “What, then?”

“After we get our foot in the door,” Jack elaborated. “Next step in our lives.”

“We have to see how long we can keep this show with Lily going,” Sammy replied. “That’s working out pretty well right now. I don’t know. I’d like to see a show we work on get nationally syndicated, obviously, but I don’t know… what that would look like.”

“We could move somewhere else,” Jack suggested. “Lily is more of an investigative journalist than either of us, she’ll probably want her own show without you goofing all the time.”

Sammy winced a little, thinking about the last argument he’d had with Lily about his ‘tasteless jokes’ during her (boring) monologue about some current event. She was a very good journalist, Sammy wouldn’t deny that, but she didn’t have a lot of energy on the air. “Yeah, she will. Where would we go?”

“New York, maybe,” Jack suggested. “Or Chicago. The door’s open.”

Sammy nodded. “I like that. But what about -” Sammy paused, wondering if he really wanted to ask, but Jack was looking at him intently and he knew he couldn’t just stop mid-sentence. “What about the  _ rest _ of our future? Outside of career?” he asked, trying to avoid Jack’s eyes.

Jack either ignored the implications that Sammy was going for hadn’t picked up on them at all. “Well, we’ll start with exploring the city, obviously,” he said. “Then if we’re there for a few years, maybe we’ll get a house?”

“Sure,” Sammy agreed half-heartedly. “That sounds great.”

He wasn’t lying - it sounded  _ amazing _ . There was no way Jack thought about it the same way as he did, but it was times like this when Sammy wondered, because he didn’t bring up any possibility that either of them would ever have a long-term partner outside of each other. Jack took it for granted in these schemes that it would just be the two of them, and Sammy had to wonder what that meant. Sometimes he thought he almost knew, that Jack really was thinking about it the same way as him, and then -

“I met this guy at a party last week and he just texted me. What should I say back?” Jack asked, turning his phone towards Sammy to show him a text conversation. 

Sammy didn’t bother to read what Jack had been sent. “How would I know?” he replied, trying to keep his tone light, like he was poking fun at his own lack of experience. He made a show of looking at the time. “I forgot I have to go,” he added, picking up his laptop and starting to bring it back to his room.

Jack looked over the back of the couch at him. “Where are you going?”

“Uh…,” Sammy answered intelligently. “Scott said he was in town and wanted to get coffee.”

“Oh. Okay, well - have fun,” Jack replied slowly. “Are you…?”

Sammy felt himself blush, both from the lie and the implications. “No, God, I’ll be back in an hour. See you.” He shut the door before Jack could reply, cursing himself out in the hallway. He couldn’t think of anything else to do, so he texted Scott to see if he  _ was  _ in town. Couldn’t hurt.

 

Jack wasn’t sure why Sammy was going to meet with his ex. Jack had barely known Scott, had met him all of twice because the relationship hadn’t lasted a year, but he knew that Scott wasn’t the right guy for Sammy. Both times they’d met, Scott had been perfectly pleasant to Jack, so he didn’t want to be disparaging, except from what Sammy had told Jack. To Jack’s understanding, the break up hadn’t been because Scott was a bad person, so much as that he was a bad boyfriend, and not very mature. He knew that Sammy had ended the relationship, but not much else. It hadn’t been something they’d talked about all that much, except in the year following the relationship when Sammy would feel comfortable enough to talk about what he was looking for in a relationship and how it was decidedly  _ not Scott _ . 

It had been almost four years since Sammy had broken up with Scott, and Jack had been fairly sure that they’d never spoken again, but clearly he’d been wrong. He  _ really  _ didn’t want to think about what they had to talk about over coffee all these years later.

At least, Jack had thought it was just coffee until he found Sammy debating between two shirts in his room. Sammy  _ never _ debated his clothing - he wore the same five t-shirts in rotation and owned a single pair of jeans and the only change to his wardrobe was when it rained or the handful of days a year it was too cold to wear a t-shirt. Jack had known, hypothetically, that Sammy owned at least one dress shirt because he’d seen in when Sammy had done job interviews in college and at an event they’d gone to last year with their radio station.

“Which is better?” Sammy asked, holding up the shirts when he spotted Jack lurking in the hallway outside his bedroom.

Jack took a step inside Sammy’s room. “Where are you headed?”

Sammy hesitated for long enough that Jack knew he wasn’t going to like the answer. “Dinner with Scott.”

“That one,” Jack said, pointing to the shirt nearest to him without looking at it. Sammy would look good no matter what, and Jack really didn’t want to be involved in him looking good  _ for Scott _ .

Sammy looked at the shirt and frowned. “I was thinking the dark green one might look better. Are you sure?”

Jack tried not to show anything on his face and was sure that he ended up looking off kilter in some way. He looked at the shirts, one blue and one dark green, and recognized the later from the event the year before. Sammy looked  _ really _ good in it. “I’m sure.”

Sammy looked at them again and shrugged, pulling the blue shirt over his undershirt and buttoning it up. “I’ll be back before eleven.”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Jack said, half-heartedly, and Sammy just rolled his eyes before going out.

After Sammy left, Jack sat on the couch with his laptop out, pretending to work on the commercials they needed for next week. Lily came home and found him staring off into the middle distance.

“I can’t deal with you sulking right now,” she informed him.

Jack had to resist the urge to pout. “I’m not sulking. I’m an adult.”

“You’re an adult who’s sulking,” Lily corrected. “Why?”

Jack groaned and shut his laptop, eliminating any pretense of working. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Lily sighed and sat next to him. “What did Sammy do this time?”

“Why do you always assume he’s done something?” Jack asked, and Lily just glared at him both for avoiding the question and for asking something he already knew the answer to. “He’s getting dinner with Scott.”

“Ex Scott or Greasy Scott?”

“Ex Scott,” Jack answered immediately. “They got coffee last week and now they’re getting dinner.”

Lily nodded knowingly and Jack felt something acidic start to coil up in his stomach. “Do you think they’re gonna -”

“He said he wasn’t staying out late,” Jack interrupted; he was pretty sure that hearing Lily voice his fears would kill him. “But he put one of his nice shirts on.”

“They’re gonna fuck,” Lily said quickly and Jack reached out to swat her but she leaned away.

“Leave me alone,” he muttered, falling back onto the couch petulantly.

Lily stood up. “Fine. But you’re gonna have to deal with this sooner or later, you know? He’s pretty gone on you but… who knows. Maybe Ex Scott grew up.”

Jack wished that they weren’t recent college grads and owned decorative pillows he could throw at her. He settled for flipping her off as she left the room. “There’s nothing to deal with!”

 

Sammy tried to re-enter the apartment as quietly as he could. 

“How was your date?” Jack asked.

Sammy jumped, turning to see Jack on the couch with his reading glasses on. It was… incredibly cute, and Sammy was too tired to push that thought down. “Not a date,” he muttered, undoing the top few buttons of his shirt and falling on the couch next to Jack. He noticed Jack watching him and kept his eyes trained on the coffee table.

Jack hummed. “What was it then?”

Sammy shrugged. “Dinner with a friend. He said he was moving back into town, actually.” That was a lie. Scott had told him that he’d never ended up leaving like he’d planned to after graduating.

“Oh. Are you gonna see him again?” Jack’s tone was almost tense in the darkness, but Sammy still couldn’t look at his face.

“Maybe. Maybe not,” Sammy answered. “Turns out we have a lot in common, now.”

“He used to suck, though,” Jack said, and that’s when Sammy looked up to see the sour expression on Jack’s face.

Sammy smirked. “You didn’t even know him.”

“I know you didn’t like him,” Jack replied, tone suddenly turning serious. “That’s enough for me.”

Sammy nodded, not in agreement but to give himself a moment to think. “Okay. Are you jealous?”

“Of course not,” Jack answered quickly. “I’m just worried about you. It wasn’t a good relationship for you, you’ve said so  _ multiple _ times.”

“Shouldn’t me saying he’s changed be enough?” Sammy challenged. “Do you not trust me to be an adult about it?”

“I trust you, Sammy, but I don’t know if I trust him,” Jack said, meeting Sammy’s eye steadily.

“You don’t even know him,” Sammy muttered, pushing himself back up off the couch and feeling Jack’s eyes on him the whole time. He didn’t know why he was pushing the topic; he knew it wasn’t likely he was going to see Scott again - sure, Scott seemed more self-assured now, and had a clear direction to his life that he’d lacked when they were nineteen, but… he wasn’t Jack.

 

Jack didn’t bring up the night of Sammy’s date again, and Sammy didn’t either. Jack tried to push the image of Sammy sitting next to him in the near-darkness, lit only by the streetlamp directly outside their window. The orange light spilled over him, complimented by the blue shirt that Jack had picked, with those few buttons undone, and Jack had nearly lost his mind.

It was fine, though, because he didn’t run into Sammy getting ready for a date again, so he could forget that it had ever happened.

Except he had to bring it up.

“Why didn’t it work out with Scott?” Jack asked, walking into Sammy’s room and throwing himself on the bed next to him.

Sammy looked at him questioningly. “Before or why am I not gonna see him again?”

“You’re not gonna see him again? Nevermind - either. In general,” Jack replied.

Sammy set his book down and looked like he was thinking about it. “You know why, back then. He just didn’t have any drive, and we were too different. Now… I don’t know. It’s kind of weird.”

Jack pulled himself up so that his back was against the headboard, same as Sammy was sitting. He knocked their shoulders together. “C’mon, I’m your best friend. Tell me - what’s on your mind?”

Sammy looked over at him and for just a second Jack thought that he looked sad, but then it was gone and he was sure that he’d imagined it. “I don’t really know if I liked  _ dating _ that much,” he admitted. “The… getting to know people part. It’s uncomfortable.”

“That’s the point, though,” Jack said. “How are you supposed to know someone well enough to have a relationship with them without that awkward part?”

“We never had an awkward part,” Sammy pointed out.

Jack took a deep breath. “That’s different. We’re not dating.”

Sammy nodded. “Yeah, we’re not,” he agreed redundantly, and Jack tried not to wonder why he did that. “I guess I just want to date someone I feel comfortable with. It doesn’t really matter, though - I don’t think I’m really ‘on the market’ right now, you know?”

“Sure, yeah,” Jack nodded, ignoring the tightness in his chest. “Focus on our careers and all. I get it.”

Sammy pressed his lips together in a thin line. “Yeah, of course.”

Jack hopped off the bed. “I have to go work on the commercials,” he announced, fleeing the room in what he hoped was a dignified manner. 

He closed the door to his room when he got there and sat on the edge of his bed. Sammy didn’t want to date at all, and that was fine - Jack tried to ignore how it felt to know Sammy didn’t want to date  _ him _ , but it was softened a little by the fact that at least Sammy wouldn’t be dating anyone.

It was fine. Really, it was. It was totally fine.

 

Jack told Sammy and Lily that he was going out for the third night in a row, with a suggestive wink thrown in for good measure, and Sammy was pretty sure his brain was going to melt.

He obviously didn’t know for sure what Jack was doing, but he wasn’t stupid. Their bedrooms were next to each other on one side of the hallway, across from Lily’s, and Sammy kept being woken up by Jack stumbling in in the early hours of the morning. 

It was a small comfort that Jack seemed to be coming home alone, but Sammy didn’t know where he was coming from so he just cut his losses and started to avoid Jack. He didn’t necessarily want to - he always wanted to spend time with Jack - but he wasn’t sure he could look Jack in the eye without blushing or giving himself away.

Lily noticed first, just after Jack left and Sammy finally emerged from his bedroom.

“You’re being a coward,” she informed him and he just stuck his tongue out at her, because if he was being childish then he’d go all the way. “Also you’re disgusting.”

“Takes one to know one,” Sammy snarked.

Lily just rolled her eyes. “We aren’t eight, Stevens.”

Sammy turned to retreat back to his room. “Then mind your own business.”

“You can’t avoid him forever,” she said to his back. “He’s already asked me if you’re sick. Like I would know before him.”

Sammy didn’t dignify that with a response and went back to his room. He tried to read more of his book but couldn’t focus on the page, so he took a shower and got ready for bed but he couldn’t sleep. He kept wondering what Jack was up to, and then at two in the morning the door handle of his room rattled.

He hadn’t locked it, so Jack came right in and threw himself into bed next to Sammy.

“What are you doing here?” Sammy muttered.

“You’re mad,” Jack said, but his voice was muffled by the bed because he’d landed facedown. 

Sammy resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Of course I’m mad,” he said. “Do you know what time it is?”

Jack gave the impression of a shrug from his position. “Nah.”

“What were you out doing, anyway? Were you at someone’s house?” Sammy wasn’t sure why he asked. He regretted it as soon as the words were out of his mouth - it was his business what Jack did, obviously, and it sounded… desperate.

Jack turned his head and his eyes were a bit red, but he didn’t look wasted like Sammy had suspected. He didn’t really smell like alcohol, just sweat and the memory of cologne. “Why?” Jack asked, pushing himself up so he was almost kneeling next to Sammy. “Are you jealous?”

He was just echoing what Sammy had asked him and Sammy knew that. He knew that this was some kind of one-upmanship even if he didn’t understand it, that Jack was just turning his own reasoning against him as if to highlight some point that Sammy wasn’t sure of. He couldn’t pin it down, so before he could think about it, he answered how he wish Jack had that night. “Yes.”

Jack froze like he wasn’t expected that and Sammy felt a pit open up in his stomach. Sammy propped himself up a little so he was looking right at Jack, who was just staring at him. “Oh,” he said stupidly, and Sammy almost would have laughed if he didn’t also want to cry.

“Sorry,” he muttered, but Jack was already shaking his head.

“Are we… really, really stupid?” Jack asked. “Are we really that stupid?”

Sammy didn’t know what he was talking about so he didn’t say anything, just kept watching him.

Jack laughed to himself and Sammy  _ really _ hoped that he wasn’t laughing  _ at _ Sammy. “I’m gonna do something, and just… promise not to hate me?” he said, and before Sammy could even register it Jack was tipping forwards and kissing him.

Sammy reached up and grabbed Jack’s shoulder, pulling him off balance so he landed half on top of Sammy’s chest, and he kissed him back hard. 

“I guess we are stupid,” Sammy said, and Jack laughed again.

“I was so jealous before,” Jack admitted. “You looked so good on your date.”

“It wasn’t a date,” Sammy replied automatically. “But… I kind of wanted you to think it was.”

Jack shook his head and Sammy felt almost electrified in all the places they were nearly touching. “Let’s not do that again, okay? Better yet, let’s just date each other and be on the same page here.”

Sammy laughed. “That sounds like a good plan to me.”

“Good,” Jack agreed, and then he leaned forwards to kiss Sammy again.

**Author's Note:**

> While I have you here... You should check out my X Files AU, The Other Side. It's good I promise and no viewing is required. Here's a #testimonial from helloearthlings:
> 
> “you gotta read the x files au from the person in the world who probably understands the x files better than chris Carter and also provides some sweet and painful parallels to kfam that we all need in our aus” (when I specifically asked her to give me a #testimonial)
> 
> thank u for ur time have a nice day.... leave a comment here or there if u like anything you've seen today!


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